Finding a Path Forward after Loss

Many of you have probably thought that I gave up on writing. I thought so too.

This will be very different from my usual blog posts. I’m going to get personal. I don’t normally get personal in this blog, but I no longer have a “normal”.

Last year, I lost my dear husband to glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. My world has been shaken and turned upside down, like a snow globe upended and trying to balance on its rounded end. I’m a bit wobbly.

Initially, I thought that I could throw myself into this blog as a distraction. But that was foolish thinking. When I sat down to the computer, no words came. I had nothing to say.

Writing about food and travel was something that my husband and I did together. He was my travel companion, my wine specialist, my home chef, my editor. How could I do this on my own? I thought that I was finished with writing. That my path forward would be different.

So I gave up.

But the blog is still here, pulling at me.

Life continues to go on, pulling at me to write about it.

The desire to write is slowly working its way back to me. Still, I can’t pretend that nothing has changed. I need to let my writing follow it’s new, natural course: an expression of where I am at this moment.

Grief is different for everyone. It can leave a wound that never fully heals. They say that your grief doesn’t necessarily get smaller with time, but you expand and grow around it. So here I am, expanding and growing, learning something new about myself everyday.

What is important to me now?

It has been so important for me to return to my hometown, my family and friends, my support system. I feel grounded here. I’ve made use of many of the healing resources available in the Frederick community, including a bereavement support group, yoga and meditation classes, and I’ve even floated in a sensory deprivation tank (yes, we have floatation therapy here and it is very relaxing.)

Having a wide variety of places to meet up with friends and family has also been incredibly healing. I am grateful to live in a dynamic area loaded with restaurants, breweries, wineries, and year-round festivals. There is no shortage of things to do in Frederick County.

This community is important to me. Promoting the many small, local businesses providing us with food and entertainment is important to me. These are the things I will share with you as I explore my new path forward. The spring festival season is coming and I’m ready for it.

You do want to hear all about the Annual Maple Syrup Festival starting next weekend, right?

11 responses to “Finding a Path Forward after Loss”

  1. Thank you for sharing your journey. You are all strong for sharing. Your friends from afar embrace you and care so much about you! This includes me. XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifully said….as always. Our hearts ache because of your loss knowing your life will never be the same. But we also know that you will find a new path…because of your curiosity, your desire to explore and your strength. We are eager to share that next glass of wine from a newly discovered café with you….virtual or face-to-face.We are in your corner—always.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: